How to Enjoy the Burning Man Experience from the Comfort of your Own Home

• Reread Dhalgren by Samuel R. Delany. Reread The City Not Long
  After by Pat Murphy. Cut off the bindings, throw all the pages
  up in the air, and shuffle them back together. Reread The City
  After Dhalgren by Samuel Murphy. Burn it. Reread the ashes.
• Pay an escort of your affectional preference subset to not bathe
  for five days, cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen,
  wear a skanky neon wig, dance close naked, and say they have a
  lover back home.
• Pitch your tent next to the biggest speaker in a crowded, noisy
  club. Go to sleep.
• Drain all the water from your toilet. Vacuum it every three days.
  Hide all your toilet paper.
• Throw a sprawling, drunken, week long party. Spend the next five
  weeks meticulously cleaning every square inch of your house.
• Stack all your fans in one corner of your living room. Turn them
  on full. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.
• Sprinkle dirty sand in all your food.
• Bust your ass for a “community.” See all the attention get focused
  on the drama queen crybaby.
• Spend thousands of dollars on a deeply personal art work. Hide it
  in a funhouse. Blow it up.
• Set up a DJ system downwind of a three alarm fire. Play a short
  loop of drum’n'bass until the embers are cold.
• Have a 3 a.m. soul baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms,
  a crocodile, and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you’re hallucinating.
  Lust after Bugs Bunny.

Forwarded by Rebecca on the Opera Disapora mailing list.