Isolation is a
Death of sorts

Familiar spirits
Vital spirits
Anabolic

Strangeness
Catabolic
Sometimes beneficial
Usually detrimental

Next time I
Visit Florence
I’ll have fun

Paris, too

Everywhere I go
There will be friends

This is my dream

The probablity of fruition: ????

I don’t know the math
My ignorance
My passiveness
My self’s periphery
Defeats me

I battle still
Whether I win or lose
Isn’t my concern

My concern is comfort
Comfort is my lord
Everyone’s lord

I have no comfort
I don’t believe
I am free
Free to suffer
So I do

Even if I don’t believe in suffering
It makes no difference
It’s not my choice
“Choice” is illusive
Conotations enslave us
Confuse us
Define us

Conotations don’t exist
We don’t exist
Our death is certain
Our birth, a myth

Why do we feel we are insisting that we are?
What is really insisting for us?
What does it want?
Why can’t I be left alone?

I don’t want to be in this maze
There’s no reason for shittiness
There’s no reason beyond what’s logical
I don’t care for physical forces
Why do they care for me?

I hate gravity
I hate electromagnetism
I hate the strong interaction and even the weak one

You guys made me
Will unmake me
In the meantime
I am here

Big whoop
Us bioforms on Earth experience desire
The substrate remains indifferent
The emergent cultures don’t care
Some of us are fine feeling what we feel
Some of us are pissed off that we exist

Take my neurons
All of them
Save them
Don’t reconstitute me
Make someone else
Someone I could never be
Someone I thought I was
Once or twice

Whether I’m always the same instance in time
Or I actually change
It’s these memories I hate
I don’t hate myself as a whole
Maybe parts of me
But I don’t see these as being me

I shouldn’t see anything as “me”
I should leave that to others
But when I do leave it
I can’t predict
The conotations
That control them:

I’m a smart, quiet guy
Sometimes loud,
Sometimes dumb

Nevermind me
Who are you?

I know no one
I want to know someone
Everyone eventually
Okay, maybe just a several few

I have a long way to go
Before I die
Before I’m fine again
Before I can paint, play music, sing, meet a new friend, make love, finish writing a book, learn a new language, and visit a new continent
All in the same day

That would be awesome!