Silence. When the silence breaks, I want the ensuing cacaphony to last indefinitely. I don’t need for the noise to ever stop anymore. I’ve had more than enough silence for one lifetime already. All I want now is music, song, chatter, crashing, banging, screechinganything but the sound of my own thoughts. I want all auditory sensations to come from the outside. I’ll have plenty of time to sort them out later. But what I want now, or rather, what I need, is to be bombarded. I just can’t stand it when the silence I sit in is fractured, letting some sound seep through, only for it to stop when the fracture is repaired. And I am left broken.

I may have just figured it out??? the exact nature of what’s tortured me all these years, ever since late 1992. I could be wrong, but there is something that’s definite. There may be a bit more to sort out. This case isn’t closed just yet. And even when it is, I won’t be coming out unscathed.

It’s something that I’ve always highly suspected but I didn’t have enough pieces of the puzzle to make out the picture. I’m able to see something now, though. However, I might just be seeing, out of my excitement, patterns that aren’t really there. I probably should see if that’s the case first. Isn’t rationality fun?

See also August 20 and August 21 entries

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 10th, 2001 at 1:11 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.