The last year of my life summed up in less than 20 words:

Got fired. Got hired. Fired again. Met a girl. Just friends. Hired. Fired. Burning Man! Hired. Wesley Willis! Fired.

Suicide is painless;
It brings on many changes.
And I can take or leave it if I please.

I’m angry. Grrr.

I caught myself this morning eating cereal with a fork??? That can’t be good!

Eminem: the 21st century’s version of Vanilla Ice.

Never again.

Never again will I take life for granted, nor will I wake up to each morning disregarding it as just another day. I mourn for the death of yesterday and all days before it. What did I do then? NOTHING! Not a single worthwhile thing. No memorable moments. And now that time is gone. I have so precious little left, whether it be ninety more years or a single day. I have to make the most of it. I can’t just sit there anymore and let everything pass me by, silently wishing for it all to stop so I can catch up. Fuck all that. Now is the time, and the time is now. It’s either that or never and I can’t settle for never. I can’t settle, period. I must take what’s mine and goddamnit, it’s all mine! No one’s going to stop me, either. No one shall dare.

So, where do I go from here? It doesn’t matter, as long as I actually am going from here. Anywhere is better than here. If I stay here, I stagnate more and more with every fleeting second. By just standing still, we zoom through time at a blinding 299,792 km/s. That sounds nonsensical, but it’s true.

???

Anyway, I’m in serious need of some snoozin’ right now.

All I wanted for the moment was a morsel, yet I was presented a feast.
Well, I had wanted a morsel for a long time, and yes, I would have accepted more.
But all I needed was a tiny bita tad more than just a taste.
I needed enough to survive. That’s all I wanted.
Okay, so maybe more than just minimum sustinance???
All I ever wanted and all I want now is for the hunger to go away. Far, far away.

So, when I was shown this feast, I was undoubtedly tempted.
I was told that it was not for mecould not be for me.
And I feigned to be okay with that.
I would just stare at all that nourishment while my stomache grumbled deafeningly.
But all I ever wanted was a morsel.

I continued to stare at the feast. My mouth watered.
I was thrown scraps and I ate them.
Maybe I shouldn’t have.

My hunger grew. That feast was mine. Mine, damn it.
But all I could do was stare and drool.
I was intoxicated with the smell. It was the smell of fulfillment.
I poked at it so I could at least feel something.
And so it was taken from me. All of it. No scraps.

All I ever wanted was a morsel.

I sure am glad I ain’t Marv Albert.

My sternum still hurts???

It’s a pity that we ever met.