Sometimes it’s hard for me to say anythinganything at all. Either I struggle to bring something to the forefront of my tongue, or I draw a complete blank. It doesn’t matter whether it’s uttered or written–like here, for instance. There’s a million things that I feel I need to say and there can be times when I feel I have to say all of it in one go. So it’s ironic that when I have an opportunity to say whatever it is I must say, that I’m speechless. Damned silence???

Of course, the phenomenom isn’t completely unaccounted for. I’m in many ways passive by nature. I’m more likely to react to something than be the one who initiates it. That goes for expressing my ideas verbally. A lot of the time, all it takes is for someone else to say somethingregardless of whether it’s to a particular person or a general audiencefor me to react and state my opinion. More often than not, though, I speak only when spoken to. And it’s not to observe that rule that people give to children (who should be seen and not heard, anyway ), either. It’s just that it takes a certain amount of assurance that my two cents would be appreciated, or at the very least solicited, for me to speak up. If you ever see me being quiet, in real-life or on this web site, keep in mind that it’s because no one is saying anything to me. And the vicious cycle continues???

Similar to how my dishes are the breeding ground of some nasty strain of bacteria that smells so bad after awhile that I just have to wash the dishes (after about a few weeks or so), it can just be a matter of time before I actually say something all on my own.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 7th, 2000 at 9:42 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.